Learn to share

This weekend was spent again with family, so I didn't have to deal with my husband one-on-one at all. It was such a nice break, but as soon as we got home he began to irritate me again, like rubbing a raw spot. Admittedly, I was tired and that made me cranky and so I was much easier to irritate...but my first reaction to my husband shouldn't be to want to get away.

I read somewhere recently that a good litmus test of a relationship is to be in a gathering with your significant other. You should look at that person and be proud of them and, of everyone there, that should be the one you want to be with the most. This shouldn't be based on what other people think (although if they're close friends you might give their opinion a bit of weight) but on how you feel.

I'm embarrassed by my husband. He's tactless, tends to give his opinion without really knowing what's being discussed. He's really loud (which in turns has influenced me to become loud). I have a large vocabulary and he tries to use words he doesn't really know in an effort to keep up with me. He's really very smart, but at times I wonder.

He's also not as cultured as I am, by which I mean I've been exposed to many different aspects of stuff like music, food, literature, etc. He has no wish to be exposed to different aspects of literature, I haul him kicking and screaming to the very occasional play or other theater production, and I've actually broadened his taste in food (which, since he's much pickier than even I am, means he's actually eaten something besides American and Italian food). Even worse, when he deigns to do something outside his comfort zone, he spends the entire time making me aware that he's miserable.

Basically, the only interests we share are primarily his interests- he has no desire to indulge my tastes. I cringe when he speaks in a gathering, because I'm sure he'll say something stupid or mildly offensive. Worst of all, I can't tell him things because I'm never sure what he'll repeat, even if I ask him not to share it with other people. I wonder how I could have decided to share my life with this person, even if I do love him and superficially we get along great. It seems like everything I dislike about our relationship is such a small thing, but they all add up.....