Vocal cavern

One thing I've noticed is that my husband's behavior often resembles that of my father's. Trust me, this wasn't something I was conscious of until recently. I hadn't put much credence in the theory that you recreate your relationship with your parents in your spouse, until I saw it in action.

My husband has a big mouth. He opens it and says things he shouldn't, things I've asked him not to say, things that are just plain insulting. You know how you state opinions of people or things that aren't the most flattering to your closest friends and significant other? Well, I can't do that anymore. My husband will blurt them out, even if I specifically ask him not to repeat them.

He isn't particularly subtle about it either, which leads me to believe that he really isn't thinking about what he's doing. If he were gonna repeat opinions of mine that I don't want generally known, you'd think he'd do it behind my back, right? Nope, he says things like "Cady didn't like that cake you made" right to people's faces right in front of me.

Today he said something to his father on phone while I was in the room, and I felt the need to chime in from the background to correct what he said. First of all, it was something we'd agreed on that his dad wouldn't like the best, but he made it sound like entirely my decision. He also tells his dad things I'd rather not have my parents know, and since my husband is a great deal like his father, I'll bet his dad will blurt these things out when he sees my parents. Argh.

I sometimes ask my mom for advice about stuff that I see her dealing with in my father. For instance, my dad makes up stories about us and tells them to people. OK, so I exaggerate. But so does he. He takes actual events and embelishes them or plain makes things up to give entirely the wrong impression. For instance, my dad's family now believe that my high scohol friends were a rowdy bunch of destructive kids. Yeah....we were all in National Honor Society, in the Science Club, and just really mild in general. My dad once gave a group of people the idea that my mom sits home all day eating chocolates, drinking beer and watching soap operas. Again, pretty much the opposite of the truth.

I hate to talk to my mom about stuff. I want her to like my husband, and if I reveal flaws that she wouldn't (maybe) necessarily see that becomes harder. But it's also difficult, because right now I really only have one friend I can ask for advice and I don't want to keep dumping on her. At this time, though, I'm starting to get really creeped out at how much my husband is like my father. And if you're reading this, sweetie, take that as a warning: do you want to turn into MY dad?