Trust issues

I'm a little worried about the anonimity of this blog. The name on here isn't my name, isn't really close even. I just like the name Cady and think that it has a similar feel to my real name. I just want my blog here to be a place I can express myself without even thinking of the need to censor my opinions. I have another blog where my friends and family have access- I save all my funny stuff for that one.

What I'm really concerned about is my husband reading this. There's just been too many times, both in the past and recently, where I've written something specific which my husband either brings up or reacts to. For instance, I once told an AIM buddy that I was tired of missionary and would prefer a change of position, specifically to doggy style. Sure enough, the very next night he initiated that position. Every other time I've had to say that I want that position while we're having sex. There have been other incidents.

I don't think he's actually reading the blog. What I suspect is that he has some kind of program installed on my computer that captures keystrokes. It wouldn't be too hard- we have our computers networked and he's the administrator. I don't have a password on my computer so it wouldn't be difficult to install something when I'm not around. I expressed this concern to my IM friend and he sent me a link for security software for AIM. Now I have one person I can chat with and not worry about it being read.

He's hacked into my email before (with a good reason which I get into some other time) so I have a very hard time trusting him with anything on my computer. I already have to throw hissy fits to keep him from changing the setting to make things 'better'. I like having the taskbar at the top of the screen. And I do know how to change pretty much all the settings and have adjusted everything to my satisfaction. If he does have some sort of spyware installed, I'm sure he thinks he has a good reason. But I've already asked him if he's done that and he said no. I guess I don't entirely believe him.